- I was at a wedding this weekend and in the taxi-ride home, my brother and me were discussing how we’d like our own weddings to pan out. It had been a long day and tiredness had opened a valve in my brother’s head causing wedding plans to pour out of his 16 year old mouth uncontrollably. Revelations about just how much he’d thought about his wedding, which he estimated would occur in around 10-15 years’ time, were startling but I too joined in, serving up alternative song suggestions to his own.
As the journey progressed, the conversation took a slightly more morbid turn as I mentioned that 2 of the songs that I’d picked for my wedding would also be on my funeral playlist. I’ve talked before about my inevitable funeral but so far the response has been overwhelmingly afflictive which, let’s face it, is understandable.
I realise that for a lot of people talking about funerals, especially their own, is a little too dark for gentle conversation but it’s a conversation that I think is important to have. Not because I’m dying or plan to be dead fairly soon, but because I have no idea when I’ll die so the conversation is as relevant now as it ever will be. It’s not even a conscious decision to be helpful and let my family know my wishes because for me, it’s entirely selfish- I want my funeral to go exactly to my plan and it’ll be too late to express this plan once I’m dead.
Of course, I do think that expressing my funeral wishes is important for whoever is burdened with organising my funeral. I know that if I had to organise someone’s funeral, I’d want it to be a reflection of them and their choices, even if those choices are decidedly hideous.
Here is my list as it stands so far:
– I’d like people to wear pink because it’s my favourite colour and it will create an ice-breaker for people meeting for the first time
– I want ‘C’est la vie’ by B*Witched and ‘Angel’ by Shaggy to be played
– I’d like a party with cake and balloons (I understand if a piñata is too far)
– I’d like to be buried/cremated in my pyjamas, so that I am eternally asleep (also I spend most of my time in them anyway so it’s entirely appropriate)
– I want people to enjoy themselves
Death is life’s only guarantee so we should accept that it is unavoidable and be prepared for it when it comes. So often we are frightened by the thought of death but if we make our mark in life, we will always be remembered afterwards.
I’ve never been to a funeral and have never lost anyone close to me but I think that I would find comfort knowing that a person’s last party was just how they wanted. I want people to enjoy my funeral because someone should and it probably won’t be me.