Now That I’m Old

Last week I turned 19 and let’s be real, I’d much rather I hadn’t.

Yes I had a lovely party (that everyone I invited attended even though my mum had told me that “not everyone will come”) and yes I had a great birthday at V-Festival with my 2 best friends and yes I got loads of lovely gifts and cards and birthday wishes but still, I’ve turned 19.

What’s the big deal?’ you cry, ‘you’re still a teenager and still an adult so really it’s no different to being 18 and you were fine with that’. All very true, except that at 19 I’m now a proper adult.

By November my chance to be a teen-mum will have been and gone and that in its self is a frightening thought. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not planning to have a baby any time soon but knowing that I won’t be able to contemplate ringing MTV about appearing on Teen Mom UK highlights the fact that I’m fast becoming a real grown up.

Talking about this brings back dark memories from the day that I turned 17 because by then I’d missed my chance to appear on 16 and Pregnant. It was sad enough when a film crew didn’t turn up at my door to film Sweet 16 but missing out on 16 and Pregnant as well made my 16th a truly heartbreaking day.

In less than a year I will be 20 and that reminds me just how unaccomplished I am. By 20, Miley Cyrus was worth $120 million, by 20 Malala will have been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize (she already has this but is only 17 and that doesn’t count) and by 20 Emma Watson had not only filmed all 8 of the Harry Potter films but had also achieved 8 A* GCSEs and 3 A grade A-Levels, modelled for Burberry and been accepted into Brown university. How on earth can I compete with such talent?

The silver lining is that there is still time. I have 11 months to become someone, to do something spectacular and to make my mark on the world. In 11 months I will be a millionaire, I will have been nominated for an award and most proving of all; the Daily Mail will have written an article about me.

So please; join me on my quest, sit back and enjoy ride and most importantly of all, #prayforjasmine.


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